Thats my secret Cap....

I tend to get in a mood.. occassionally that mood means that I am for all purposes completely insane. Last night was one of those nights.. and today doesnt seem to have gotten any better. Last night I threw a chair, I think part of me stays minimally sane because when I lose it. I dont tend to hurt anyone just become rather scary... My children played a fun game of ..

And the thing is.. they arent that bad as far as kids go, you can never really pin point the moment when they went too far. It just happens... then poo hits the fan.

Today I feel like I am just walking around looking for a fight. Seriously dont start. I will go ape-shit before you can blink. Some people at this point are laughing... they obviously have never witnessed "Jodie going ape-shit"  Its not a lot of fun for anyone involved. I used to play roller derby whiched helped. None of the girls actually minded you skating it out or taking them out if it made you feel better. And should thay happen to bruise so much the better... photos can be taken and enjoyed. But I dont really have a release anymore. Nothing. I just slowly fester. Those close see the warning signs, my three year old will randomly pat my back. My six year old will start hugging me a lot with random "I love you"s thrown in. The eight year old is rather relaxed.. but will start helping me with dinner or whispering to his brothers to cut it out.

I think it is part of my cycle... mid cycle I get really angry, and very teary (stupid hormones) unfortunately I am so random I never know when it will hit so there is no warning for anyone.

I nearly ripped a girl last night online. Do you want to know why.. she used the word 'everythink" IT ISNT A WORD. I mean I am not the best with spelling and will use the wrong Threw/through etc especially if I am in a hurry but even I draw the line. The first time I gave her the benifit of the doubt... slip of the fingers so to speak but then she wrote it again!!! I didnt even know her and I wanted to grab her around the neck and shake her violently.

I think random people know when I am like this... they seem to avoid me on the street, a survival instinct perhaps.... my husband tends to like to poke me when he can tell I am build up. He like to get it all out before it becomes bad or worse I become... QUIET. My cousin used to know what was coming and leave the room she said there were signs for anyone to see. My jaw starts clenching, I tend to grind my teeth ( they are falling appart because of this habbit) my nostrils actually flare... and on occasion my eyes tend to get a lighter brown. Fair warning I say... now if all of them are happening and you are still standing close enough to see it. Good Luck to you