OOOOOUUUCHHHHHHHHH! and hurl

SO I had my first personal training session this morning. Gee that was fun ( you can read sarcasm right) I actually had to use all my will power to not vomit by the end and to walk to the car and drive home. I felt the way I feel when I have had my back realigned. Not good and then I had to get up the stairs when I got home... I had a shower and got into bed for an hour cuddled up to my son and puppy. I felt GOD DAMN AWFUL! that said I had a Gatorade, and a stretch after lying down and felt great, bit sore but more an expected sore than what I felt this morning. Now this I have figure was either because of the cold wind and ear ache from said wind, or my rotator cuffs in my shoulders shouldn't have been pushed that had because they are dumb. It was really weird.

I am feeling really good at the moment. Getting more organised with routines for me and the children, only a couple more days till the 20 day organising challenge starts and I am keen and ready to go.

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”
― Audrey Hepburn

I hit a really bad low a couple of days ago. I lashed out at everyone, I cried and I gave serious thought to not going home but sleeping in the car. My husband made everything better and we had a great talk about what has been going on, about the situation we have put ourselves in and how we are going to cope with it. I am feeling better about things and the direction my life is taking. Turns out I am not as useless as I think I am.

FACT: no-one can say anything to me that I haven't said or worse to myself.

My Husband doesn't understand how this works, but being a loving husband told me that I haven't wasted my life nor have I achieved nothing. My three boys are proof enough of that. He went on to list or the thing I have done in my life and how I am lucky to have everything I do have.  I love my life but I will no longer be staying at home all the time. I am having a Bodyshop party at my house, I have been helping out at the school. I will even be skating at school for the kindergarten kids.

I really really want to be able to run this fun run with my cousin this year without embarrassing her or holding her back. I want to look nice at my other cousins wedding. I want my house to run smoothly and my children to not be late for school.